Senses...the void

I wanna know what she tastes like
I wanna know what she feels like
I want to taste her skin on my lips
Feel my hands on her hips
I wanna feel her hands stroke my face
Feel her fingertips through my locks
I want my eyes to meet hers
My hands to hold hers

This Feeling

We met on Sunday and already I've seen her face a thousand times.
She makes me smile
Not like others, she...she is different
She has me like sight and love meet in first
Like senses heighten inward anticipating outward response
My eyes close when I speak to her
Envisioning what it will be like
When eyes first meet
And lips greet for the first time...it already feels right
I trust this feeling
I trust her
She makes me feel like warm nights in winter's peak
Like when the sun greets me in the morning I see her
Her smile embedded in my mind like I've seen it before
Like I've felt her before
Like every chill her voice gives me hope to love again
Courage to breathe again
I feel secure
Like with every conversation the layers begin to fade
And my heart opens to her embrace
To be continued...

The Realization: Love

Love and the unknown is beautiful
To love is a beautiful feeling. To know that love is, is amazing.
The very existence of love is born in self. I realize that now: Self.
Love is self-replicating.
Self love is the prototype for sharing love.
Sharing love is a reflection of self.
Shared love is the best love, I believe.
Love and it's divinity coincide with truth.
Truth hurts, love hurts when it's real.
Love is divine: the highest high.
Love is not perfect.
Love and it's perfect imperfections yield the unknowing.
Love's unknown is beautiful.
I've learned not to concern myslef with where love is taking me.
What matters most is that love is.
Love exists! Live in it! Breathe it! Believe in it!
Love without reason: the ability to love is the reason
Love without care: care resides in love, don't step outside of self to give it.
Love without knowing the seasons: love defines the seasons
Dare to love: when, only when, self love is true and unyielding, don't hesitate to give love.
Love because you don't know what will follow.
Love because you're not concerned with the outcome.
Love just because love and the unknowing is beautiful. 

Clouds in My Coffee part deux...

12/18/08 10:43 AM

Every morning, same thing, same rou...
Columbian House Blend
Heavy cream
Sweet N Low, 4
and a straw because I like it really hot but not on my lips.
In my car.
Wishing I was with her
Near her.
Listening to my heart.
On the surface there's silence
But there's 5 piece band on the inside
Playin and singin love songs
Dedicating every song to the only one that's been there
Hoping that she hears me
Praying that she feels me
Knowing that she loves me
Wondering if she truly knows the depth of my love
For her
For life
For my future
Wanting her to be part of it all
I'm so focused
I guess that's what keeps me
What makes me confident
I just want her thoughseems like I've been sipping on the same cup for hours
that's what she does to me
she makes me drift
she makes me think, like no other
I dreamt of her love last night
Her sounds, her moans, her scentDAMN
I wanna feel her warmth
Part her lips with my lips
Seduction...Crud, I'm done with my cup
Refill? Most definitely
I can't wait to see what I'll find in that one

ReBlog: Sometimes...

12/14/08 02:22 PM
Sometimes I can't help but think about you.
Sometimes I can't help but want to be near you.
Kissing you
Holding you
Loving you
For life
Making you more than just my wife
Falling in love with your touch...again...for the first time
Remembering late night escapades
Years passed
And still
The sound of your voice gives me chills
The thought of your love brings me tears
Joy in the fact that I've experienced it...once...but never like this
I want to make you remember
I want to make you forget
As nice as we once were
A future us is what I'd prefer
Hmmm...Lalah's melody plays in my head
"Do you remember the love that we once had
well if I had the chance to love you again
I'd make your heart forget I was ever there
If we forget the past
I know this time love will last
forever, for always, for love"
Sometimes I can't help but dream about you
Conversation lulls me as if we were right next to each other
Thoughts of family
Babies...
(chuckle) I can see you duck walking
I'd rub your belly all day
Showing our children what love is
LIke you've shown me
These thoughts flow so easy when I think about you
About us....
Sometimes

ReBlog: Clouds in My Coffee

Every morning, same thing, same rou...
Columbian House Blend
Heavy cream
Sweet N Low, 4
and a straw because I like it really hot but not on my lips.
At work.
Wishing I was at my quiet place so I could write.
Bumping that new Raheem Devaughn
Listening to the words.
My mind is wandering.
Gotta focus
But I wanna write. I feel like I have so much to say.
I want to express. I want to....confess
I wanna say I'm sorry. I wanna say I love you
I wanna be in love again. I wanna write about love again.
I wanna feel love again. No baggage.
No insecurities, no doubts.
Trust.Full & complete.
Thinking about how nice it will be.
When I find her. When she finds me
Next track: 14, 15
sighI'm done with my cup.
Refill? Perhaps.
I wonder what I'll find in that one.

ReBlog: I wish...

March 18, 2008 - Tuesday
I wish she knew that I haven’t been able to sleep at night
I wish she knew that I can’t stop thinking about her
I wish she knew that I am still in love
I wish she knew that every song reminds me of her
I wish she knew that as much as I’ve tried, I can’t stop loving her
I wish she knew that I want to hold her in my arms again
I wish she knew that I would make love to her all day everyday, and then some
I wish she knew that I want to feel her lips again
I wish she knew that I don’t want to be with anyone else
I wish she knew that I’m not over her
I wish she knew that I forgive her
I wonder if she has forgiven me by now
I wish she knew how jealous I am
I wish she knew that I need her
I wish she knew that I want to be with her...forever
I wish she knew that I want to be the one she bares a child with
I wish she knew that I am a different person now
I wish she knew that we belong together...
sigh
I wish she knew I wrote this

ReBlog: The disadvantage of being sleep deprived and having locks

April 11, 2008 - Friday

So yesterday was a very exhausting day for me. With work consuming most of it, right after work I indulged in a night cap of soul music and performing. Just another day in the life of muah. So needless to say I was tired physically & mentally from my day and just wanted to come home and relax for a bit seeing as though I couldn't really fall into a deep sleep 'cause I had to wake up in 4 hours. Anyhoo, when I got home, I said my prayers & laid down. I remember saying to myself "damn it feels good to lay down".

Before I continue let me say this: Hello my name is Taryn and I absolutely and positively dislike bugs or any creepy crawly thing for that matter. I want to capture them all and just send them off to bug space or something. I just don't like'em dammit. Back to the story.

So anyway as I start to drift off into somewhat of a semi deep sleep, I begin to feel something brush the upper part of my back. Thinking nothing of it, I rolled over and forgot about it. I felt it again, feeling so relaxed to the point where I didn't feel like searching for anything (which means I was really really tired). I felt it again, brushed it off and drifted away into what I like to call a deep sleep for insomniacs or IDS, Insomniac Deep Sleep (when your regular routine is to sleep long enough to catch the beginning credits of a dream then wake the hell up). I continued this for about 3 of the 4 hours I had until it was time to wake. Dozing in and out, never really able to get to that "dream state" (which I had been seeking 'cause there was this dream I had the other night, that I am so desperately interested in concluding). Anyway, after a while the brushing seemed to cease. I drifted away into IDS. The credits begin. After a while I felt an ever so gentle brush across the same spot this time proceeding to jump up, fall off of the sofa, slapping the shit out of my back, doing the "shit something is crawling on me" dance, ended up stepping on one of my nieces skates (you know the hard plastic ones we had when we were little that adjust at the bottom), busting my ass, falling on her Dora the Explorer play pal, which began to sing "Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer", feeling ever so aggravated at this point--I felt triumphant in the fact that I had grabbed a hold of the culprit, only to find out that it was the cowrie shell of one of my locks that had been the culprit the whole damn time. Needless to say I couldn't help but laugh at myself and look around to make sure no one else had witnessed this display of sleep deprivation intelligence and stayed up since I now only had about 30 minutes before it was time to wake up.

DAMMIT!!!!!!!

ReBlog: Cherishing Moments

When she speaks I listen and I can't help but to think back
Think back on how we met
Accident? Maybe...this is one head on collision I can appreciate
Like minds intrigue me. Scattered thoughts find common ground.
An appreciation for my heart (poetry) she has
Words spoken amongst a crowd. I wonder if she knew I was thinking about her?
We kissed
Her lips tasted like her words ran through fields of satin when she spoke.
Exhale
Hmmm....
Conversation flows like leaves blowing in the wind
Free...easy...open
This is nice
Time spent feels like moments of happiness dancing around forever
Possibilities become endless with each day that passes
And "chasing pavements" lead to real
Lead to love
Lead to more moments to cherish

Anticipation

I must admit she intrigues me.

Something in her eyes

Or maybe it's the way my name flows off her lips like waves run toward the sunset

She speaks as if her depth awaited this meeting.

Her stare holds me like anticipations rising.

Like word and stimulation become one.

Our exchange reads like a highly anticipated novel

And I've become a bookworm

Ready to see what's next, to delve deeper

To open myself more.

I thought inspiration was lost

Buried beneath the fear of uncovering layers

She makes me want more

Know more

Be more

I can't wait to turn the page.